Can I Lick It? A Scientific Inquiry into Curiosity

Yes, it’s true: geologists do, on occasion, lick rocks.
This isn’t urban legend. This isn’t a TikTok dare. This is field science, baby—and sometimes the fastest way to ID a mineral is to taste it. Halite? Tastes like salt. Kaolinite? Like the inside of a pottery studio. If you see someone in hiking boots, covered in dust, confidently press a mystery mineral to their tongue in the middle of nowhere, don’t panic. You’ve just spotted a geologist doing highly advanced scientific analysis… with their face.

Now, before you go licking your driveway gravel: this is not a universal technique. And if you're not sure what you're licking, maybe pause and ask a second question. Or ten.

Because over in microbiology?

We don’t lick the science.
That fuzzy little agar plate is not a snack. That culture tube? It’s not kombucha—it’s a microbial mosh pit, and someone in there has beef with humanity. Licking microbiology is a fast track to becoming a CDC case study titled “Why We Don’t Do That.”

And chemistry?
That’s a hard no. You ever read the label “corrosive,” “neurotoxic,” or “fatal if inhaled,” and think, "but what if I just taste a little?"
No. No, you didn’t. You’re not that chaotic.
Because even if you survive the explosion, you'll still have to explain to your lab manager why the fume hood smells like almonds and your eyebrows are missing.

Then there’s omics—genomics, metagenomics, transcriptomics.
We don’t lick the sequencer. We don’t lick the screen. If you’re tempted to taste the data… buddy, it’s time to go outside. Touch grass. Touch a pipette. But not with your tongue.

Still, here at the CHAOS Lab—where geology, microbiology, chemistry, and omics all collide like a four-way demolition derby—we embrace the questions no one else dares to ask.
Questions like:
“Can I lick it?”
and more importantly:
“Should I?”

Because we’re interdisciplinary.
Which means we respect the tongue test when warranted. We know halite from Moab? Certified tasty. We’ve licked 300-million-year-old salt fields under the blazing desert sun, and yes—they absolutely deliver. But we also know better than to French kiss a glowing culture plate.

So let this be your guide:

• Geology? Sometimes.

• Microbiology? Absolutely not.

• Chemistry? Only if you’ve got a death wish.

• Omics? Please don’t lick the sequencing machine. It’s expensive and someone will film it.

Stay curious. Stay feral. Lick responsibly.
And maybe bring water next time. That halite hits hard.

Can I lick it?